OMGUW - OVERHEARD

#609

2012-02-27T10:30:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Biology Prof: Larger testes correlate with a smaller brain.

#608

2012-02-27T10:29:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
CS136 Prof: If you write this code in C, I'll slap you.

#607

2012-02-27T10:29:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
PHYS 112 prof: So then you end up with these piping hot areas in an otherwise frozen burrito.

#606

2012-02-27T10:23:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
PSYCH PROF: Look at the screen. If you miss any items on the screen, you will die.

#605

2012-02-14T15:13:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
PSYCH 207 Prof: Some things are more typical based on context. For example, around the Waterloo area I think that a cardinal is a pretty typical bird, don't you? I get a lot of cardinals at my birdfeeder at home...

Everyone in the class: *whispering* Geese...

#604

2012-02-14T15:12:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Plant Ops employee: We asked him to take his sister. But my grandson would rather slit his wrists than see Taylor Swift

#603

2012-02-14T15:12:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
Guy in the SLC Silent Study Room: FUCK ME IN THE ASSHOLE!

#602

2012-02-14T15:11:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Guy 1: Do you know her, um she has black hair, black eyes?
Guy 2: What else?
Guy 1: She wears glasses, she's asian...

#601

2012-02-14T15:11:00.000-08:00

#600

2012-02-14T15:10:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: Yo I heard he was sitting in SLC with a boner

#599

2012-02-14T15:10:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
At Tim Hortons
Guy: "This new large is like a boat"

#598

2012-02-14T15:09:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Girl: "I am so scared of birds"
Girl 2: "Yeah, me too, especially ravens and scarecrows"

#597

2012-02-07T20:24:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Psych 211 prof: I want everybody to close their eyes... I won't molest you.

#596

2012-02-07T20:23:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: "This scene is so amazing it gives me an erection"

#595

2012-02-07T20:21:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
V1 caf: "It's been scientifically proven that Conservatives are stupid."

#594

2012-02-07T20:21:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Girl on her phone, loudly: "And then yesterday I cut my head when I walked into the tampon machine in the washroom. I was like, so mad."

#593

2012-02-07T20:20:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Guy 1: WHERE is the Fudge Lady?
Guy 2: I don't kn-
Guy 1: She is the BOMB!

#592

2012-02-07T20:20:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: is it still illegal if a cop tells you to do it?...

#591

2012-02-07T19:42:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
Guy 1: "Would you rather give up alcohol or video games?"
Guy 2: "Alcohol."

#590

2012-02-07T19:41:00.006-08:00

Overheard:
Biomechanics prof: if it's soft, it will slip out. if it's hard, it will not slip out.

#589

2012-02-07T19:41:00.005-08:00

Overheard:
Girl 1:" I had to wipe off my car this morning, #thirdworldproblems"
Girl 2: "It's #firstworldproblems"
Girl 1: "ohh that's why people didn't get my joke..."

#588

2012-02-07T19:41:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Staff: I am going back to my office and pretend to work.

#587

2012-02-07T19:41:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: "and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba""

#586

2012-02-07T19:40:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
I'm sitting next to two Asian guys on the bus when the bus accidentally rolls over the curb near the bus stop.

Guy 1: "GRT drivers suck."
Guy 2: "Actually the driver's a woman."
Guy 1: "Oh. Okay, figures."

#585

2012-02-01T15:38:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Don: "..is it bad that I think the girls on my floor is sexy? I mean I'd ask her out but I dont know if I'm allowed..."

#584

2012-02-01T15:37:00.004-08:00

Overheard:
Girl 1: I think I'm going to skip class this afternoon
Girl 2: What? You should probably go. Which one?
Girl 1: Developmental Psychology
Girl 2: Oh yikes... I'm saying this as your friend, you should probably skip.

#583

2012-02-01T15:37:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: "When it's big it's so much easier..."

#582

2012-02-01T15:37:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: "it's like a penis in a penis ... Its like penis inception!"

#581

2012-02-01T15:36:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: You heard of that rapist?

Girl: Rapist? Like Eminem, right?

#580

2012-02-01T15:36:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy 1: Well make a magic computer!
Guy 2: Just because you have magic doesn't make-
Guy 1: INFINITE RAM!!

#579

2012-01-28T18:53:00.004-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: "well it doesnt help that you slept with him.... oh im sorry, blowjob cause thats so much better"

#578

2012-01-28T18:53:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: My day is completely ruined.
Girl: Why?
Guy: Because I saw you.

#577

2012-01-28T18:53:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
OS Prof: "Just like when you kill a parent you kill all the children, when you kill a parent process you kill all the children threads, you can't have children running around."

#576

2012-01-28T18:52:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
MSCI Prof: "How much potential do each of you have? Do you have more potential then I do? Can you measure it?"

Eng. Student: "You can. It has something to do with mass and energy."

#575

2012-01-28T18:52:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy1: What's up?
Guy2: Just chillin.
Guy1: Wrong answer man. You're an engineer, you've got no time for chillin.

#574

2012-01-28T18:51:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: My sexual orientation has less to do with attraction, and more to do with desperation.

#573

2012-01-28T18:51:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Professor Jean-Paul Lam (talking about a photo of an eldery woman who had been peppersprayed): "That guy must have a small penis. I'm sorry, but to be on a power trip like that, you must have a small dick. I don't know why someone would pepperspray an 80-year-old woman. What is she going to do, hit you with her umbrella?"

#572

2012-01-28T18:49:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
Math prof: How do we make this equation look prettier?
Girl: MAKE IT PINK!!

#571

2012-01-28T18:48:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
BIOL 373 prof: "The 4 F's are fighting, feeding, fleeing, and sexual activity."

*Half the class giggles immediately*.

*A few people finally get it after 30 seconds and laughs out loud.*

#570

2012-01-28T18:48:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: "Even math at Laurier is hard man."

#569

2012-01-17T16:11:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Coach: "I don't know how to put this more eloquently, but the best way to learn how to knee is to pretend you're trying to hump something but your knee's in the way."

#568

2012-01-17T16:11:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Kin 330 Prof: Well, arguably, Harry Potter could go both ways...

#567

2012-01-17T16:10:00.004-08:00

Overheard:
Kin 408 Prof: If we were to rip your still-beating heart from your chest...

#566

2012-01-17T16:10:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
CS prof: ''I love Computer Science, but I HATE computers''

#565

2012-01-17T16:10:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Chem 267: So this is the "lambda max". I once had a student mistake it for the "Land of masks". She didn't do very well. So please pay attention.

#564

2012-01-17T16:09:00.004-08:00

Overheard:
Calc prof: Theres more to life than single variable calculus.

#563

2012-01-17T16:09:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Cute guy on phone: "So this girl was trying to grind with me... but it ended up that her elbow was on my crotch. Not pleasant."

#562

2012-01-17T16:09:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
RS Prof: "We know nothing about Justin Beiber, except for his manufactured face. For all we know he could kick dogs all day and smoke crack."

#561

2012-01-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
History Prof: "Don't touch my bacon. I love my bacon."

#560

2012-01-08T18:30:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: You know how many times I got pregnant?! Zero! You know why? Because I don't drink!

#559

2012-01-08T18:30:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Econ 102 prof: "So what lesson can we learned from the Great Depression?"
Student : "We learned alot of lessons from the great depression."
Prof: "Care to elaborate?"

#558

2012-01-08T18:29:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
Girl 1: Are you kidding? I'm such a bigger heavy weight than you, you puked already tonight!
Girl 2: Ya, but think of all the calories I saved.

#557

2011-12-16T19:48:00.004-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: "You should try to squirt"
Girl: "I tried to squirt, but I couldn't. I tried very hard."

#556

2011-12-16T19:48:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
At Pearson International Airport.
Older businessman: It's fine to rip off people if you do it legally.

#555

2011-12-16T19:48:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: So I was like presenting in one of my courses and then my friend just throws a shoe at me.

#554

2011-12-16T19:47:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
[Listening to Katy Perry - Last Friday Night]
Boy: But nobody had a threesome Friday.
Girl: You had a foursome.
Boy: I guess that counts.

#553

2011-12-16T19:46:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
Girl 1: "How did your histo exam go?"
Girl 2: *sad face* "I was molested"
Guy: "What do you mean molested?"
Girl 1: "I feel all violated and shit like someone took away my innocence and didn't leave me with a parting gift :("

#552

2011-12-16T19:45:00.004-08:00

Overheard:
Girl: I'm pretty sure 'given name' means last name. No wait.. No. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, it's definitely my last name.
.. Wait, I think 'surname' is last name. Right?

#551

2011-12-16T19:45:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Girl: "I hate wearing shoes; it's too much work."

#550

2011-12-16T19:45:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Calculus Prof: Alright if you don't know the area of a circle, you have to leave this class.
*Proceeds to write formula for perimeter*
Student in class: Um that's perimeter
Prof: Well fuck that

#549

2011-12-16T19:44:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: "the vagina photographs very beautifully...... pauses.... oh..."

#548

2011-12-16T19:44:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: Ahh, dandruff. So we meet again...

#547

2011-12-16T19:42:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
Girl singing: Friday night, to DC.
Saturday night, to DC.
Sunday night, what a headache. But I went to DC...

(In reference to this song)

#546

2011-12-09T18:32:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Girl: I felt like the exam would have been easier if I studied.
*Everyone nods in agreement*

#545

2011-12-09T18:32:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: Definition of a vector space - we have a set of random bullshit and we do random bullshit to it...

#544

2011-12-09T18:31:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: "If you could explain this in english you can kick ass"

#543

2011-12-09T18:31:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Friend from New York: I want to go to Polar Bear National Park
Me: Cool, I might join you.
Friend from New York: So do you know if they have snow for the whole year?
Me: Probably, not sure..
Friend: Can you breathe there?
Me: WHAAAAAAT?
Friend: You know there are no plants because its all snow, so there is no oxygen.
Me: ...

#542

2011-12-09T18:30:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
Guy1: "What kind of girls are you into?"
Guy2: "Asians. You?"
Guy1: "Asians. Haha. Nice."
Guy2: "It's what I came to UW for. Forget the degree."

#541

2011-12-05T09:07:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
*Girl 1 bends down

Girl 2: "OMG did you have lower back tattoo removed?"
Girl 1: "no?"
Girl 2: "but you have a redish tribial mark right in the middle of your lower back!!"
Girl 1: "Oh that's a birthmark... tramp stamp by birth baby!"

#540

2011-12-05T09:06:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Girl: My santa socks gave me a rash! Why is the world out to get me?!!

#539

2011-12-05T09:06:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy 1: I stuck my hand down her pants and it was like chewbacca down there. Kind of a deal breaker.
Guy 2: Well, wookies are known to pull limbs from people's sockets

#538

2011-12-05T09:05:00.004-08:00

Overheard:
Girl one: That motorcycle is going so slow...
Girl two: that's a bike...

#537

2011-12-05T09:05:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Guy 1: Man, I haven't showered in so long...
Guy 2: Yeah! I know what you mean. It's been days

#536

2011-12-05T09:05:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Cheers head in class room from outside MC.
Prof: "What was that? Did somebody solve a Math Equation?"

#535

2011-12-05T09:04:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: And hitting your stomach on the water hurts like a bitch!

#534

2011-12-05T09:04:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: I remember back when I was your age...
Student:(murmur)
Prof: I heard you snicker you bastard! It was great, I had hair...and wore overalls..

#533

2011-12-05T09:03:00.004-08:00

Overheard:
Girl in BMH lounge: Do you guys ever try to pull up your pants but only pull up your underwear and get a wedgie? I HATE that!

#532

2011-12-05T09:03:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: "Ladies and Gentlemen, warrior training is concluded..."

#531

2011-12-05T09:03:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: ...so its like in real-time, like without lag or interruptions
Girl: so like texting?
Guy: ...no.

#530

2011-12-01T17:57:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: "it's the same thing like constipation, you're not allowed to marry your daughter."

#529

2011-12-01T17:56:00.004-08:00

Overheard:
Girl 1: Do you ever touch yourself?
Girl 2: Yeah, when I'm bored.

#528

2011-12-01T17:56:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: So if I just drink my own semen it's like a perpetual cycle...

#527

2011-12-01T17:56:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Girl 1: Hey I saw on Facebook that you got a job! Where are you working next term?
Girl 2: Well...Um...It got cancelled..
Girl 1: Oh.
*Later on*
Girl 1: How's your boyfriend? I haven't seen him in a while.
Girl 2: Well...He broke up with me...2 weeks ago.
Girl 1: Oh..

#526

2011-12-01T17:55:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: I don't know enough about mexico to talk about it... I only know about the prices of weed and coke crossing the boarder

#525

2011-12-01T17:55:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: And over the Christmas break, you guys should carefully consider the implications of...Hah, who am I kidding? You guys don't give a flying fuck about school during the holidays...

#524

2011-12-01T17:54:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Girl walking through EIT museum
Girl: "Wow, it looks like a museum."

#523

2011-12-01T17:54:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: I will allow you to bring a drink into the exam, although I would prefer it to be non-alcoholic.... That might get us into trouble.

#522

2011-12-01T17:53:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
*On overcrowded GO bus*
Laurier Student: Do we have to stand all the way to Square1?
Waterloo Student: Yeah. It's not that bad, the force of the bus' lurching doesn't overcome the coefficient of static friction.
Laurier Student: You must be from Waterloo.

#521

2011-12-01T17:52:00.004-08:00

Overheard:
Guy 1: What's your favourite: white girls, asian girls, brown girls or black girls?
Guy 2: Whatever. Prejudice doesn't keep you warm at night.

#520

2011-12-01T17:52:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: "Last night I went to a strip club for the first time. After getting a lapdance I patted the stripper on the back and told her to 'Have a good one'. That's when I realised that I'm unfamiliar with stripper etiquette."

#519

2011-12-01T17:52:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Girl reading her textbook: I don't understand. What harm could a cricket pitch do to a person?
Guy: They mean the sport.
Girl: Oh! That makes so much sense!

#518

2011-12-01T17:51:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: This demo has nothing to do with what we've learned in class but it's really cool anyways!

#517

2011-12-01T17:51:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: "Rivers are just like us when they get hungry [...] they eat sediment"

#516

2011-11-23T22:16:00.000-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: In academic circles we call this horseshit!

#515

2011-11-23T22:12:00.004-08:00

Overheard:
Girl: What do you want for christmas?
Guy: Pay for my lipo!!

#514

2011-11-23T22:12:00.003-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: "I was at a conference and the speaker didn't notice that he was jiggling his keys and change in his pocket...god knows what else he was jiggling in there."

#513

2011-11-23T22:12:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy1: That's one of the things that I'm looking forward to when in China - I'll be a minority.
Guy2: Yeah, but you're also the richest guy around.

#512

2011-11-23T20:58:00.002-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: Its so cold my nipples are hard

#511

2011-11-23T20:58:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Guy: What are you doing this weekend? You should go check out a A Midsummer Night's Dream
[guy leaves]
Girl1: Is he gay??
Girl 2: No he just really likes Shakespeare

#510

2011-11-16T19:55:00.001-08:00

Overheard:
Prof: “Don’t forget, in 50s and 60s we used to be hippies”.